Knowing vs. Noting: A Retreat in Lumbini, Nepal

Over there in south central Nepal, is a place called Lumbini, where the Buddha was born, some 2,600 years ago. Since I'm on somewhat of a Yatra, a pilgrimage, and had already visited the 3/4 Buddhist Holy sites that are in India, I had to get up to Nepal to complete the circuit. In general, I'm not much of a traveler, even though I'm getting better at it. Rather, I prefer to spend most of my time posted up somewhere, in a place that I know I can get to work, chipping away at the many, many, many mental defilements that get in the way between "me" and freedom. The best practice I have found to do this work is mindfulness, but in the world of mindfulness, there are many techniques.

When I learned that the Burmese meditation teacher, Sayadaw U'Pandita, had a meditation center in Lumbini, I quickly changed my plans and headed north from Sarnath, where there were some western Dhamma teachers leading a non-residential retreat. Although the Dharma Gathering, as it's called, seemed like a really great thing, and there were a lot of cool people there, I yearned to get back to silence, where the real work can get done. When you mix too much talking with meditation, it's hard to keep a continuity of mindfulness, which I am learning is ever so important. At the gathering, it seemed like a lot of socializing, and don't get me wrong, I love to talk about meditation, but what I love even more is practicing meditation. Some people, unfortunately, are the other way around.

I first heard about U'Pandita at a retreat in Colorado I did in 2011, with Steve Armstrong and Kamala Masters, both of whom are dedicated students. After they first mentioned him, I became more and more acquainted with the name, and another one that went along with it, Mahasi Sayadaw. As you may remember from a previous post, I sat for 9 days at the Mahasi center in Burma last November, and had a difficult time. Sayadaw U'Pandita is a chief disciple of the late Mahasi, and is considered one of the greatest living masters of meditation in the world, especially in the Therevada Buddhist tradition. A friend of mine from Colorado, just sat the annual 60-day retreat that U'Pandita leads in Burma, and had also heard good things about the center in Lumbini.

This particular center, the Panditarama International Vipassana Meditation Center, is operated under the guidance of one of U'Pandita's disciples, a German monk, Sayadaw U'Vivekenanda. One of the reasons I had such a difficult time at the Mahasi Center in Burma was that the Sayadaw (teacher) there didn't speak much English and frankly, neither did the younger monk translating for him. I already had invested a total of 30 days in this practice, known as the Mahasi Method, and still had unanswered questions. Before writing it off completely, which I was tempted to do, I wanted to get a chance to ask an experienced teacher in the tradition, who could speak fluent English, the question I was dying to ask.

So that brings me to my point, what is the difference between knowing and noting? The Mahasi Method is known for being a very strict and disciplined way of practicing mindfulness of the present moment by using noting or mental labeling to identify what is happening. Since I had first learned this technique from western teachers, who are no doubt less-strict, I had already gotten comfortable with a practice that allowed me to note some things, and just stay present, or "know," others. For example, I could practice staying with the experience of breathing without using noting, just by bringing my attention to the natural breath, and return it to the breath when the mind would wander. Then, when a particular curve-ball would be thrown my way, like pain in the body, or incessant thinking, I could then choose to use a label, noting, "pain arising," or "thinking mind."

While I had grown to like this practice, which sort of allowed me a lot of freedom in regards to what to note and when, I had come to find that the original teachings were much different. In one way, that's one of the problems with us Americans, is that we like to have the illusion of freedom, at the price potentially finding true, lasting freedom. The Burmese, on the other hand, don't have this problem. Buddhism is in their blood, and they seem more than willing to do what it takes to find that freedom from suffering. The Mahasi Method, as taught in Burma, is quite strict about noting everything, and the western Dhamma teachers, even the students of Mahasi/U'Pandita, are not. I'd be willing to guess that they are less strict because of their students, not because they aren't taking it seriously. Either that, or they have genuinely understood that a less-strict approach is better for the western mindset, which very well may be true. If it is, I am determined to find out on my own. As a serious student of the Dhamma, it leaves me in a difficult situation. What should I do? Should I note everything, or keep it more relaxed, American style?

Okay, well, I seem inclined to try to get things right, especially when it comes to meditation, but in my previous ventures with the Mahasi Method in Burma and Thailand, I sometimes got to a state where I felt like I knew what was happening, and the noting just dropped away naturally. When I asked the teachers if I needed to continue noting at that point, they all said the same thing, yes!

At the Panditarama Lumbini center, I finally got the answer that I was looking for, but it didn't come from Sayadaw U'Vivkenanda, it came from the resident nun, Sayalay Bhadda Manika. I realize that this article is quite boring and you might think pointless, but stay with me here, this is important for those of us trying to understand what the Buddha meant when he said, "In the knowing, there is just the knowing." Sayalay told me, "Find the balance between using labels and simple awareness." That's it right there! That was the answer I had been looking for, but let me get into what I think she meant by that, for sake of clarity.

This method is not primarily about using mental labels, it is about being with the direct experience on a moment-to-moment basis. One reason it is so powerful is that it transcends the meditation cushion, and can be practiced all day, everyday, in anything we do. This is also what separates it from some other Vipassana methods, such as those taught all over the world at the 10-day Goenka courses. When I think about awareness, I think about mindfulness, the practice of being aware of whatever is happening. Now, to me, this is different than being aware of something very specific, and tuning everything else out. Let me explain.

With the Goenka courses, the technique is to scan the body, head to toe, in order to feel the gross and subtle sensations that exist in the body. While yes, these sensations are already there before we started scanning, they aren't necessarily prevalent to our experience, and the whole thing is very prescribed. It doesn't help us deal with curve-balls. Also, it can't really be practiced off the cushion, say, while we are driving or at work. In that way, it's not really a practice of being mindful of whatever the present moment has to offer, it's a practice of tuning in to only one particular aspect of the present moment.

The Mahasi Method, on the other hand, helps us to identify whatever the present moment includes, which is in a state of constant flux. While it does use the rise and fall of the abdomen as the primary object of mindfulness, it allows any predominate object, anything that takes the center stage in our awareness, to be addressed. I use it whenever I can remember, while working, walking, talking, breathing, eating, taking a shower, etc. It can not only be used during activities, but during every waking second of the day. If practiced while falling asleep, one can even wake up and find that it is still happening. On this last retreat, one night, I remember waking up to "roll over" several times during the night, and the mindfulness was there, the practice was still there, because of the continuity that I had built up throughout the day.

So if you ask me if Salayay gave me permission to just casually use labeling when and where I feel like it, I'd have to say no. What I believe she meant is that I shouldn't grab ahold of the directions, to identify what is happening by making a mental label of it, and allow the practice to make me lose the balance of my mind. With my disposition, I have the tendency to bring this intensity that tells me I have to get it right, and my mind becomes uneasy. Instead of just giving in to a completely relaxed version of the practice, what she wanted me to do was to play around with this idea of knowing vs. noting.

One of the main criticisms for this method is that people say that instead of actually being with the direct experience, they are just mindful of the process of nothing. That means, instead of feeling the particular sensations of the moment, they are just slapping a label on it and not really investigating further. So in regards to this, when there is noting, is there always knowing? Certainly not, if one is too lax in their practice, they can go on noting the rising and falling of the abdomen, but they are missing out on the actual experience of the abdomen rising and falling. And if there is no noting, is there always knowing? Definitely not, we go through most of our lives not knowing much about the present moment, always stuck in the past or the future.

As far as the difference between knowing and noting, my process of discovery continues, but I'm glad I made the trip to Lumbini to sit for 8 days in earnest practice. I kept to the noting quite strictly, but at times, when I thought knowing was happening, I played around with dropping the noting. Here is another question I have now, when there is knowing, is there noting? What I mean by that is the use of language to decipher what we experience is so ingrained that we almost process our experience by naturally using labels.

These types of labels are very subtle, and are not necessarily at the forefront of our experience, but they are there, nonetheless. Let me use an example. Your phone rings, and you can hear it, but you don't know exactly where your phone is. Somewhere within your mind, at some level, are you not saying to yourself, "Phone, where is my phone?" Sometimes, we are so mindless of this process, that we even say these things out loud, even when we are alone. I know I have been guilty of verbalizing a running commentary of my experience before, and so have many others. This is actually quite a bit like the Mahasi Method. This internal commentary actually helps us to stay focused on what we are doing, or what is happening. WIthout it, we are more likely to have our attention diverted to one of the many distractions that are presenting themselves to us all the time. And then, we have the familiar experience of saying to ourselves, "Now, what was I just doing?"

So when it comes to practicing mindfulness, the important thing is that we are in the present moment, not whether or not we are using labels. Using labels is just one technique, and we should never get technique confused with the goal. So what is the goal? The goal is to purify the mind of its defilements by learning how the mind works through moment-to-moment observation and investigation. If we know how the mind works, we know what pitfalls to avoid, and we know how to turn around when we are headed for a dead-end. We can learn to catch impulses to react in unskillful ways, ways that hurt ourselves and others around us. We can learn to identify unwholesome states of mind, such as greed, hatred, and delusion, and replace them with wholesome states of mind such as generosity, loving-kindness, and intuitive knowledge. We can bring about peace in our minds, to reduce stress, increase happiness, and live in harmony with ourselves and our environment. And mindfulness is central to all of these wonderful changes. As Tich Nhat Hanh, the Vietnamese Zen-Buddhist monk, said, "Mindfulness is the core of Buddhist practice."

If you are thinking that your life is fine, that you don't need to practice mindfulness, then I have a few questions to ask you. First of all, don't take this personally, we all need to practice mindfulness if we want to be free. It's not something that some are born with and others aren't, so you don't have to try to trick yourself by saying, "I'm not one of those people that need to be doing this." Instead, ask yourself these questions, and be honest with yourself.

Do you ever say or do something that ends up hurting yourself or others, that you later regret doing?

Do you ever forget your car keys,  forget where you put something, forget to bring something to school or work, forget to call someone back, or forget to turn the light off before you leave the room?

Have you ever dropped a glass, almost gone off the road while driving, or forgotten what you were going to say while talking to someone?

Have you ever stubbed your toe? Or better yet, have you ever stepped on dog crap?

Have you ever beat yourself up for stubbing your toe, dropping a glass that shatters on the floor, or locking your keys in the car?

Have you ever burned something that you were cooking?

Okay, okay, I'll stop there, but you and I both know I could keep going, and we both know that we have all done these things. We do these things because we aren't being mindful, it's that simple. Did the leg of that table jump out at you at the last second and cause you to stub your toe? No, you just weren't paying attention to what you were doing. We have our excuses, and they are pretty valid too, because we all know what it's like.

"I just wasn't paying attention."
"It just slipped out of my mouth, I didn't mean it."
"It must have slipped my mind."

There's nothing wrong with being human, and making these common mistakes, but if you are like me, you'd rather replace clumsiness, forgetfulness, and reactivity with "being on top of it." If this sounds good to you, maybe you too, will play around with this idea of knowing vs. noting. If you aren't positive that knowing is happening, in any given moment, try using a label, and keep track of what's happening (opening the door, standing up, sitting down, chewing, looking for keys, etc.). The worst that could happen is that you'll have to find another excuse for why you didn't call your friend back or why your food doesn't taste good. Good luck!


To find out more about Panditarama Lumbini, which is open year-round for personal retreats of 7 days to 3 months, and operates entirely on donations, visit:

 http://www.panditarama-lumbini.info