If you've read two of the last 3 articles I've posted, you might have come to see a sort of gap between what I've said. On the one hand, we are supposed to stand up and act, but on the other hand, there is no one here to identify with. Who are we, and who is supposed to act? It seems like it can get a bit confusing, and when we have this sort of identity crises, sometimes, it's hard to see how we fit into the bigger picture and how to know what to do next. Oftentimes, people end up believing that they don't have to do anything, they are perfect already, they are one with the infinite already, and they fail to find their sense of purpose, which is important for effecting change.
When we break down the elements of the "us" that belongs to the conventional view of reality, we find that it seems to silly to think there is an inherent self that we can identify with. Not knowing where to turn, we look to the Ultimate, to the Absolute, as a way of finding that warm comfy feeling, the one that allows us to feel as though we still exist and that we are important. But this too, doesn't seem to work, because we've still solidified a sense that "we" are. As soon as we have created ourselves, in this way, we have created a duality. If we are, then surely there must be something that we aren't. If I want to identify with that which is one with everything, I've created a "me." If there is a me, there must surely be something that is not me. But if everything is one, there can not be two. So, how can there be a me? And the question is, does it really matter? If I take myself out of the equation, there is just this body, just this mind, just the process taking place, and just this Universe. While I can't seem to pinpoint myself, with this view, I also don't feel left out. I understand that this body, this mind, and this Universe are one, and I know that in an experiential sense, I belong.
So with that feeling or sense of belonging, a sense of purpose arises, a sense of responsibility. If I am the caretaker for this body, am I not also the caretaker to this planet? How can my jurisdiction have a boundary? How can I see a problem in the world and feel detached? It's not about seeing a person suffering, and say to myself, "That person there is suffering, but not me, I am over here, I am fine." Instead, it's about seeing, "There is suffering." I don't need to become self-righteous about it, thinking that I am so important, that I am needed everywhere, but more about connecting to that place of compassion within, that place that genuinely cares about the wellbeing of others, including animals.
It is a common experience that if you take a child fishing at a young age, they will have an aversion to killing the fish. But if you keep taking that child fishing, this innate sense of wanting to practice non-harming to another living thing fades away. Pretty soon, the child doesn't think twice about taking the life of the catch of the day, seeing it as nothing more than a tasty dinner. While in a sense, there is some wisdom there, seeing that everything has to die. Also, I'm not here to state a view about whether or not it is wrong to kill animals. Traditionally, native tribes of North America have performed rituals after killing animals, which they needed to do to survive. The animal never just became a means to an end, a new warm coat or a hearty meal, they never lost their connection to this place of honoring the fact that all forms of life are valid, and interconnected. Instead, they offer a sense of gratitude, and maybe a blessing to the spirit of the animal that is no longer inhabiting its body.
Deep down, somewhere within us, we all have this sense of belonging, of being one with the rest of life, but without connecting with it, we forget. We "go along" with whatever we are presented, and if you come from a place like Alaska, chances are, you participate in activities such as hunting and fishing. Having been introduced at such a young age, without the teachings of gratitude and respect that many indigenous cultures have, I became deluded, thinking that I was above the other life forms here on planet earth, that they were here to serve me. When I moved to Montana to go to university, I remember taking my shotgun camping and playing a game with a friend. He had his gun, I had mine, and we walked around, killing whatever moved. We assigned different points for different sizes of animals, and the first to 10 points, won. I remember delighting in shooting down a moving target, not feeling bad to the slightest about taking a life for absolutely no reason, other than for my personal enjoyment.
Now, almost 10 years later, I watch my step as I walk down the road, being careful not to kill an ant, and when a mosquito lands on me, I lightly brush it away, even if I'm in an area with Malaria. So what happened? Sometimes, my old friends ask me,"What happened to you?" I want to ask them, "Who exactly, are you talking to?"
Where is the "me" that they are referring to? What is it that people believe remains unchanged over time? I have looked, and there is no-thing in me that was here 10 years ago, that is still here, unchanged. Yes, there are tendencies, and I still have some of the same characteristics, but they aren't really me. If I stop identifying with that which is impermanent, and not really me, what is left is that connection to the infinite, to the permanent. There is nothing there to grab onto, nothing there to identify with, but we can still feel that it's there. Part of that, is that undeniable connection with the rest of life, with all of nature. It's not a view, it doesn't exist in the mind. It's a feeling, it's a sense of being a part of everything else, indivisible from the whole. As soon as I identify with this feeling, I've created a duality and am no longer connecting. So when we stop identifying, we remember how to connect with that which we once knew. We come back to that place that has a general sense of good-will for others, including animals, the environment, and the planet as a whole.
The next step, after we connect, is to find our purpose, and this is a matter of each individual. As soon as someone stands up and says, "You should be doing this, or not doing that," they are projecting their view onto you, and we can see that it is a product of their mind, and not something that has any real meaning. What has meaning, is our own connection, our own ability to feel and love and be moved, and only from that place can we find our purpose. There is no right way and wrong way, only what is aligned with that connection within and what is disconnected. The problem is, that once we connect, the rest doesn't necessarily become crystal clear. We're used to being spoken to, being told what to do, since the time we were children. Our parents inevitably gave us instruction, do this, don't do that, and so did our teachers at school. They were able to use language and spoken word to give us directions, and so we are used to getting directions in clear, decipherable language, but the heart doesn't always speak to us in terms of "do this, don't do that." In fact, it doesn't speak at all, in the most literal sense.
Deciphering the language of the heart is somewhat of a skill. We might feel moved by a situation, and compelled to act, but we might now know exactly where we fit in. The feeling can be clear, but the details remain a mystery.
"I see so much suffering in the world, but I don't know what to do about it."
This is a common reaction for those who open up to the suffering of others. The heart is moved, and they want to make a difference, but it can be a bit overwhelming. There are limited resources, personal limitations, and responsibilities to consider. We want to save the world, but we see our inability to do so. Many of us, unfortunately, decide to give up.
"I'm just one person, what can I really expect to achieve?"
This is giving in to the fear that we aren't good enough to make a difference. Instead, can we stay connected to that place within us, that place that is moved, and feels compassion? If we can, and we are patient, we will be on our way to finding out purpose. It might come with a clear and concise message, but it might not. It might develop on its own, growing, adapting, and leaving smaller hints as clues as to ways to fit in. Finding our purpose might not be as simple as saying, "I will be an environmentalist," or "I will be an activist." What is happening here? Clearly, we have fallen back into the game of trying to identify with something. We had to let go of identity to find this place of connectivity, so why would we fall back into the trap of identifying with a purpose?
Again, this is a game of the ego, wanting to feel important, and to distinguish itself with the rest of the Universe. This doesn't mean that we shouldn't do environmental work, or shouldn't get involved in activism. It just means if we identify ourselves with a sense of purpose, we risk seeing the identity as our purpose, instead of the actual work we are doing. When we ask someone what they do, they usually respond with their identity, not by stating what it is they actually do. "I am a carpenter," or "I am a teacher," is the response, instead of "I build houses," or "I teach English." We don't go around asking people, "Who are you," do we? We ask people what they do, but instead, they tell us who they are. This is because we have developed a certain identity based around what we do. We have become attached to our roles.
A role can never be a purpose. What we do is not who or what we really are. If we identify with our purpose, we've divided ourselves, and then we risk losing the connection that helps us find purpose in the first place. By creating the sense of self, we assign a value to ourselves. "I am a good person, I help a lot of people." "I am an environmentalist, I am important."
To really connect with our purpose, we need to stop identifying with things, ideas, roles, and that which separates us from the rest of existence. It might not come in the form of a clear message, giving us easy to swallow instructions. Instead, we need to stay connected to the feeling of connectedness, and use it as our guide. When we see a way we can fit in, when we are called into action, we can step up to the plate and do what we can to make a difference, without getting entangled in the sense that there is a doer. If we forget there is no doer, we are likely to fall back into the trap of the ego and identify with what we are doing, thereby severing the connection that keeps us aligned with our purpose. As you can see, it's not as easy as taking a look and then making a decision. This is a process here, and if you just try to squeeze out an answer, you will probably end up with an identity.
Finding your purpose isn't about becoming something, it's about acting from that place of love that lies within each and every one of us. It's about listening, and rising to the occasion when being called to act. Instead of being self-righteous about our actions, and trying to own them, we know that they are devoid of being who or what we really are, and we can keep ourselves out of the equation. If we just want something in return, some form of reward, like fame, wealth, or a sense of self-worth, we know we aren't acting from a place of love. So we can take this journey one step at a time, staying connected, being careful not to fall into the traps of the ego, and not becoming overwhelmed with the daunting task of saving the world. We can find our place, we can seize opportunities to get involved, whether big and small, and know that no matter how much good we think we are doing, there is no one here doing anything, no one to take the credit for the doing.
May all beings come to remember their deep and innate connection to this place of love, compassion, tolerance, and wisdom within their own hearts.
May all beings use this connection to listen to their inner guidance and find their purpose, as it unfolds, and to find the strength and courage necessary to act from this sense of purpose.
May all beings discover the true meaning of selfless service, not becoming identified with their purpose and attached to the results of their work.
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