Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Not Just Living for the Weekends

Having just worked everyday for the past two weeks, while maintaining a level of fulfillment and balance that I haven't known before, I became aware of just how far from this I "normally" am. In the past, I have held this mentality that is shared by many, which is to live for the weekends, or for those times when we are able to be free from daily responsibilities. We tend to grit our teeth and countdown until the next break we have. I remember always thinking on Mondays something to the effect of, "only four more days until Friday."

The problem with this mentality is that it is only honoring a small portion of our lives, and the rest of it is just seen as something that we have to endure. 

Life shouldn't be something that we endure, it should be something that we celebrate. 

To celebrate life is to honor the importance that each role plays, not to differentiate and thereby assign a value system. If we aren't careful, we start to see some parts of our lives as valuable and the rest of it as miserable. We perpetuate our own suffering by doing this, and we whine and complain about all the things we must do to keep ourselves alive.

What I remember about this is that the fulfillment that I may or may not get on the weekends was only enough to last for a little while, and then I would just need to look forward to the next opportunity to feel good again. Even when I had a job I liked, I would just be going through the motions, dreaming about the day when I wouldn't have to wake up and go to work in the morning.

As someone who loves a good challenge, I am now offering myself the challenge to be able to appreciate all aspects of my life, not just when I have free-time. What this means in the practical sense is that I am trying to practice mindfulness. When I am being mindful, I notice that I don't care much whether I am eating a nice bowl of food or am hot and sweaty while walking through Bangkok. Mindfulness just sees things as they are, it doesn't judge them.

In my opinion, the spiritual life isn't something you choose, it's something you must work for. It's one thing to say to yourself, "Okay, I'm going to enjoy every minute of everyday," but it's another thing altogether to actually experience the manifestation of that. Although I'm far from that point, I have noticed a shift taking place. I have found more moments of mindfulness throughout my work day and I attribute that to a consistent sitting mediation practice at home. When I sit every morning, I am building a strong foundation for mindfulness for the rest of the day. Whatever efforts I put forth in the morning will train the mind to keep coming back to the present moment. The idea with mindfulness is to try have these snippets of presence as often as possible and then to sort of string them together into stream of awareness.

As I was walking out of work tonight, I noticed that I felt nice and light and relaxed. Usually, I can't wait to get out of there and get home, and the tension makes me uneasy. In addition to feeling more relaxed at the end of the work day, I have been noticing the lack of thoughts about not wanting to go to work upon waking. I am beginning to neither look forward to work, nor dread it, but just see it as something that I must do, just like taking a shower or brushing my teeth. Throughout the days, while I'm at work, or on my way to and fro, I keep coming back to my breath, and then realize that my attention was elsewhere for who knows how long. These beautiful moments of awareness are usually short-lived, but they serve as reminders that we tend to live in our minds and not in the present moment.

Can we see that everything is just happening, and that nothing is supposed to be happening?

Can we connect with this ever-changing moment and find a sense of gratitude to be experiencing whatever it is that we are experiencing?

Can we see that every moment is precious, and not something to merely endure?

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