Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Close Your Eyes, Open Your Heart

Just a moment ago, as I was doing yoga, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in. In that moment, something happened. I felt my heart open, and thereby realized that it had been closed. Not a shocker, as I have found that this has been a difficult thing for me to maintain in the past, an open heart.

Even though I view life and the world with a sense of optimism, there is a still a tendency to carry myself with this shield over my heart. When you look at what is happening in the world, all the pain and suffering, the immediate reaction is to protect yourself. This is a survival skill, and although it has its place in keeping us safe, it isn't making the situation any better.

In a way, the world, for each of us, starts from the very center of our being and radiates outward. This isn't necessarily a choice, it's just the reality of our perspective from where we are standing. Keeping this in mind, it seems all too important to assess how exactly we are looking at the world. If we are viewing life and humanity from a jaded perspective, allowing the negative aspects of our past and the harsh realities of the present conditions in many parts of the world to keep our hearts locked up in a safe deep down there somewhere, we are no better than our oppressors.

The only way to combat the situations that we find as being less-than desirable is to bring an amount of love to them. I say an amount because to heedlessly pour your entire heart and soul into everything would leave you exhausted, tapped-out, and vulnerable. The point here is to bring strength into our lives, so that we might better use our resources to help each other and the rest of humanity. If we are throwing our love around carelessly, we are probably wasting it.

Love is a precious thing, and very strong at that. To tune into the love within you is to open up a box of your most powerful resource. What you do with it will define who you are, and will help to shape the world around you.

At what level are you allowing love to flow freely from your heart?

If you are like me, than you might notice there seems to be a bit of blockage there. Don't worry, I'd say this is fairly normal, and it's not necessarily our fault. We are conditioned to care about trivial things, and have learned to hate from a very young age. I've been working hard to remove the hate from my life, replacing it instead with compassion and tolerance. But where is the love? Yes, compassion is a form of love, one of the purest forms, but there is another form that is also important, and that is what is called metta in the Pali language, or what's usually translated as loving-kindness. 

In Buddhism, there are specific practices that help one to develop loving-kindness for all beings. Although I have done these practices, I don't do them often. Since I don't have access to a good meditation teacher, or guru, on a regular basis, I need to learn to guide myself through this process of opening my heart. What it's going to take is a lot of patience, persistence, and humility.

Whenever we go into the heart, we are bound to find wounds. Tread lightly my friends, as the weight of the world is upon us. There is nothing more deeply profound than to venture into your heart, in an attempt to open it up and share it with the world. But it's probably not going to be a journey filled with nothing but warm fuzzy feelings and a sense of connectivity. Yes, those moments are there, but if that's all we are willing to see, we are probably neglecting to get back into those dark corners where we've been hurt and are still carrying the baggage.

We've all been hurt, we've all felt pain, and we've all suffered. This is the first noble truth according to the Buddha. What's worse is that we tend to hold on to these wounds, and even identify with them, in order to develop pity for ourselves and then use it to justify a jaded world view. Just like a good essay writer, we make our claim and then back it up with supporting evidence of all the times we've been wronged. This is what we do, isn't it?

It's one thing, to take a look within and see that this is happening. This is progress, but it's only the first step. It's too easy to have a realization like this and then just slide back into habituated perspectives without ever addressing the root of the problem. Since I'm still in the process of figuring out what that is for me, I'm not going to offer you some sort of magical solution. But what I am going to do is encourage you to take a look, to close your eyes and open your heart. When you do, try to be real about what you find. Sit with the pain, sit with the memories of being hurt.

Can you be a container big enough to hold your suffering?

If you can, what you might find happens is that you will find an opening taking place. By opening up to what is, we can heal our wounds and find the right amount of sensitivity to offer to the rest of the world. Don't offer something you don't have. I've seen too many people wrapped up in the desire to be something they aren't, to offer something they don't have, and have watched it all fall apart. If you offer yourself to others at the expense of neglecting yourself, you aren't helping anyone.

In order to be the change you wish to see in the world, you need to be strong. Just as one who wants a strong body must first exercise, we too must work to develop a strong foundation from which to stand up and not be blown over every time there is a breeze.

Your heart waits for you to give it the time and energy it needs to be healed, and become whole again. It doesn't like to be hidden behind a shield nor whimsically thrown around and stomped on. It has a message for us, but are we listening? My heart is telling me that it's time to come out of its shell, that I've been working so hard to develop this strong foundation and now its time to come forth and be a beacon of light for the world.

But what I don't believe is that this heart is mine. 

No, I don't believe my heart is any different than yours. By listening to one heart you have listened to the hearts of all those who have ever lived. We all yearn for a connection to the whole, we all yearn for belonging, to be understood, and to be accepted. But if we continue to see ourselves as such separate entities, we will continue to find ourselves feeling disconnected, isolated, and misunderstood. With this jaded perspective, judgment and condemnation prevails, instead of love and compassionate acceptance.

The only reason there is injustice in this world is because the love is not shared. The only way to stop oppression is to love the oppressors. And if you're not ready to accept this, I understand.

If you're not ready to love even the worst of us, at least love yourself!

If our perspective of the world radiates out from the center of our own being, we need to be careful about the condition of this tender spot within. Bring love, compassion, and light into the darkness that lies within, and you will begin to see that what you do to yourself, you do for all.

I love you!

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