As you may have noticed, if you've been paying attention, it's been some time since my last blog post. You might have thought, "Maybe he's lost his inspiration, or he's stopped practicing."Or, maybe you haven't thought twice about it, but either way, I'm here, writing, again. Despite a few bumps in my practice, it's still going and stronger than ever, but I've been considering dissolving this blog back into the emptiness from which it came. I have many reasons, for and against this idea, with which I won't bother you now. For the time being, the blog lives on, with yet another post.
Slow down. Where are you going so fast? Have you somewhere to be?
We tend to rush through life, always trying to get somewhere, but then when we arrive, we can't wait for the next thing. It's tragic really, because we are missing out on the very stuff of life. Having spent the past 6 months living in Bangkok, I've really become aware of how fast I usually walk. I've never really noticed it before, but I walk pretty fast. This practice that I've come to adopt, one of making an intention to slow down, starts for me by noticing how fast I'm actually going. Once I can acknowledge this and accept it, I'm on my way to learning how to slow down.
As Pema Chodron put it, "Start where you are."We don't get down on ourselves for being broken or needing improvement, we simply become aware of where we are and that's where we start. Maybe you'd like to have more patience, or more presence, or more grace, and that's fine, it's good to have wholesome aspirations for the ways we'd like to improve ourselves.
But then again, maybe you don't, maybe you think you're fine as you are, and that's fine too. I'm not here to try to spoil your picture of reality, just to encourage you to actually know the truth for yourself. If, upon an honest assessment, you find that your picture of reality holds up, then by all means, stick with it. If, like the rest of us, the idea you've been holding onto doesn't quite stand up to the test of observation, then you can consider yourself lucky, because now you have the wonderful opportunity to throw it away and start over again. The more we can start over again, with our ideas and our conceptions, the more able we'll be to stay connected to the magic and the mystery of the ever-passing moment.
One way to find this connection to the present moment is to slow down a bit, to take our time as we move through life. We might have somewhere to be, but that's okay, we can keep things nice and slow simply by leaving a bit early. The secret to patience is to never be in a hurry. We rush to work, and then when we get there, we can't wait to get home again. And then we rush home, and when we get there, we stuff ourselves with food, quite unconsciously and mechanically, and then we turn the TV on, in order to escape the pains of being at home.
Most of the things we do are done in this mechanical and unconscious fashion. It's like we've turned into the machines that we've created. The invitation here is not see every step along the way as a means to an end, but an end in itself. If we give ourselves more time, who knows, we might even enjoy the commute to work, or the long walk through campus to get to class. Maybe we hate work and we hate being at home, for whatever reasons, but we can at least find the spaces in between to be our refuge, our practice.
As I'm writing this, I'm on my third day of silence at a yoga and meditation retreat in Cambodia, and it's this very silence that has really put me in touch with my own tendency to hurry. Just walking around this community, I see the temptation to pick up the pace. But why? Isn't there enough time? Ah, the gentle reminder to slow down, and a sense of gratitude that follows. Without this gentle reminder, that comes from the awareness of what it is I'm actually doing, I wouldn't have ever realized how fast I was going in the first place. So we can start by setting the intention to slow things down, and then pay attention to the reminders as they arise.
My parents always go for a walk around the circular neighborhood they live in, and I remember always being confused by that. "Why go for a walk in a circle, only to come right back to where you started?," I'd think. But now I understand the wisdom in this intentional act. The point was never to go somewhere, but simply to arrive right here and enjoy the moment. Hell, even if you don't enjoy it, at least youre showing up for your life, whatever it may be, and that's more than most people can say.
So as I walk, barefoot, along the dirt paths that wind through this beautiful community here in Cambodia, keeping to myself and trying my best to stay present, I'm reminded of just how real life can feel when we pay attention. I can feel the ground beneath my feet, I can hear the sounds of the birds and the insects, and I can feel this urge to speed things up. They're all there, it's all happening in the now. There's nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to be. It's just my life unfolding before my very eyes, and it's beautiful. It's also painful, and lonely, and neurotic, and compulsive, and judgmental, and sometimes it makes me want to scream and break my voluntary silence, but it's beautiful, because it's real.
I invite you to take the time you need for yourself, by slowing down, to be with the passing moments of your short time here on this earth. You'll find that there's never a dull moment, and even though not everything is pleasant, just being here is enough.
Slow down. Where are you going so fast? Have you somewhere to be?
We tend to rush through life, always trying to get somewhere, but then when we arrive, we can't wait for the next thing. It's tragic really, because we are missing out on the very stuff of life. Having spent the past 6 months living in Bangkok, I've really become aware of how fast I usually walk. I've never really noticed it before, but I walk pretty fast. This practice that I've come to adopt, one of making an intention to slow down, starts for me by noticing how fast I'm actually going. Once I can acknowledge this and accept it, I'm on my way to learning how to slow down.
As Pema Chodron put it, "Start where you are."We don't get down on ourselves for being broken or needing improvement, we simply become aware of where we are and that's where we start. Maybe you'd like to have more patience, or more presence, or more grace, and that's fine, it's good to have wholesome aspirations for the ways we'd like to improve ourselves.
But then again, maybe you don't, maybe you think you're fine as you are, and that's fine too. I'm not here to try to spoil your picture of reality, just to encourage you to actually know the truth for yourself. If, upon an honest assessment, you find that your picture of reality holds up, then by all means, stick with it. If, like the rest of us, the idea you've been holding onto doesn't quite stand up to the test of observation, then you can consider yourself lucky, because now you have the wonderful opportunity to throw it away and start over again. The more we can start over again, with our ideas and our conceptions, the more able we'll be to stay connected to the magic and the mystery of the ever-passing moment.
One way to find this connection to the present moment is to slow down a bit, to take our time as we move through life. We might have somewhere to be, but that's okay, we can keep things nice and slow simply by leaving a bit early. The secret to patience is to never be in a hurry. We rush to work, and then when we get there, we can't wait to get home again. And then we rush home, and when we get there, we stuff ourselves with food, quite unconsciously and mechanically, and then we turn the TV on, in order to escape the pains of being at home.
Most of the things we do are done in this mechanical and unconscious fashion. It's like we've turned into the machines that we've created. The invitation here is not see every step along the way as a means to an end, but an end in itself. If we give ourselves more time, who knows, we might even enjoy the commute to work, or the long walk through campus to get to class. Maybe we hate work and we hate being at home, for whatever reasons, but we can at least find the spaces in between to be our refuge, our practice.
As I'm writing this, I'm on my third day of silence at a yoga and meditation retreat in Cambodia, and it's this very silence that has really put me in touch with my own tendency to hurry. Just walking around this community, I see the temptation to pick up the pace. But why? Isn't there enough time? Ah, the gentle reminder to slow down, and a sense of gratitude that follows. Without this gentle reminder, that comes from the awareness of what it is I'm actually doing, I wouldn't have ever realized how fast I was going in the first place. So we can start by setting the intention to slow things down, and then pay attention to the reminders as they arise.
My parents always go for a walk around the circular neighborhood they live in, and I remember always being confused by that. "Why go for a walk in a circle, only to come right back to where you started?," I'd think. But now I understand the wisdom in this intentional act. The point was never to go somewhere, but simply to arrive right here and enjoy the moment. Hell, even if you don't enjoy it, at least youre showing up for your life, whatever it may be, and that's more than most people can say.
So as I walk, barefoot, along the dirt paths that wind through this beautiful community here in Cambodia, keeping to myself and trying my best to stay present, I'm reminded of just how real life can feel when we pay attention. I can feel the ground beneath my feet, I can hear the sounds of the birds and the insects, and I can feel this urge to speed things up. They're all there, it's all happening in the now. There's nothing to do, nowhere to go, nothing to be. It's just my life unfolding before my very eyes, and it's beautiful. It's also painful, and lonely, and neurotic, and compulsive, and judgmental, and sometimes it makes me want to scream and break my voluntary silence, but it's beautiful, because it's real.
I invite you to take the time you need for yourself, by slowing down, to be with the passing moments of your short time here on this earth. You'll find that there's never a dull moment, and even though not everything is pleasant, just being here is enough.
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