Taking the "Edge" Off

Despite the fact that I've been sober for 8 months now, I still find other ways to "take the edge off" after a long day at work. In this article I want to a.) define this "edge" and b.) find wholesome ways to "take it off."

a.) defining the edge

I'm sure you know the feeling. Whether it's pressure from your job, or just the build of stress from the hustle and bustle of your daily life, you get that feeling that you need some sort of release. It's an uneasy feeling, one that lets you know that things aren't okay, and it feels uncomfortable just to have it around. Usually, what happens next is it triggers the voice in your head to start scheming for its removal. And this is precisely why so many people are driven to use substances such as alcohol, marijuana, or tobacco to bring them back to their comfort zone. 

b.) taking it off

When we feel uncomfortable, we usually adjust something to fix it. When we are hungry, we might take some food, and when we have pain, we might take a pain-killer. It might even be something as simple as rolling over in bed when we can't fall asleep. While these processes are quite natural and helpful, they tend to happen automatically, and if we're not careful, we lose the ability to monitor and control what we end up doing in order to seek this level of comfort. 

Before we know it, we've become slaves to our comfort-seeking tendencies and almost look for an excuse to need to tip the scales back in our favor, another excuse to indulge. For me, having quit smoking and drinking, I now turn to movies and food. I feel it before I leave work, that uneasy feeling, and I can't wait to get home to some food and turn on my favorite show or put in a movie. Now, this seems like a preferred alternative to going out and getting wasted or even ingesting some mind-altering substance into my body in order to relax, but it does the same thing in terms of rendering my ability to cope with myself useless. 

On occasion, when I've noticed this happening and feel strong, I intuitively know what to do: slow down, and take a deep breath in. Just allowing myself to "catch up" to the moment, to face this uneasy feeling in its entirety, actually makes the feeling lessen. What seems to multiply the feeling of uneasiness is the mind's sense of urgency to escape from it, so by turning to face it, we empower ourselves to handle the situation without the use of external stimuli. Even if we are going to come home, eat some food, and sit down to watch something, can we at least do it with a little bit of poise and mindfulness, instead of feeling like we are racing against our minds?

In addition to slowing down and taking a deep breath in, we can use meditation and yoga to get in touch with ourselves and see the truth of the situation we are in. The truth is, it's just a passing feeling, and it doesn't represent who or what we really are. It's almost like we think there is something wrong with us, and so we run away from ourselves, but if we see the truth of the emptiness of such states, we can sort of laugh at them and treat them as a leaf blowing in the wind. There is nothing here that can harm us, only this compulsion to hide from the way we are feeling. Instead of being scared to feel something uncomfortable, we should be scared to go unconscious. Consciousness is perhaps the greatest tool we have been given, so let's not waste it. If what you are conscious of is unpleasant, simply acknowledge it as so and remind yourself that "this too will pass." Then wrap yourself in a warm blanket of compassionate understanding and ride the storm out, remembering that clear skies are on the other side.