It's interesting that we have this little expression, shut your trap, because that's exactly what this mouth of ours is, a trap. It traps us in reactivity which becomes a form of captivity, and restricts us from freedom. Out of all the reactive tendencies we have, the tendency for reactive speech seems to be the strongest. In other words, controlling what we say is perhaps the hardest thing for us to control, because it all happens so fast.
Now in my 5th day of silence, in a community full of people who are talking, this is becoming more and more obvious to me. But don't be mistaken, reactivity doesn't take place at the level of speaking, it happens before that. Just because I'm refraining from speech, doesn't mean I'm not reacting, it just means that I'm given the opportunity to notice my reactivity more as it doesn't have such a clear outlet of expression.
Let's take a moment to look at reactivity. What causes it?
Well, we can react to any form of incoming stimuli. Whether it be a mosquito that lands on us, a sound we hear, something we see, taste, or smell, or an internal stimulus such as a thought or an emotion. Basically, we are talking about the 5 senses and what in Buddhism is the 6th sense, the mind. Incoming stimuli that trigger reactions can come from nowhere outside of these 6 senses.
It's been very interesting to keep silent like this. I've spent many days in silence on various meditation retreats, and while staying at monasteries, but those were in silent environments. Here, in this community, we have a silent day as a group on Saturday, which doesn't even last all day, and then those who are participating in the more rigid "student program" also observe silence on Friday. I've just simply decided to keep it going, and as I said, the results have been very interesting.
With everyone around me talking all the time, I notice my impulse to chime in. I've always been good at chiming in, offering my two cents or whatever. It seems that young generations are now developing this skill more than other skills, they get a quick tongue and don't hold back in the realm of speech. Although it has proven useful at times, it's also gotten me into a lot of trouble. All too often I find that what comes out of my mouth isn't a good representation of who or what I really am. Either way, it's something I'd like to exercise more control over, or at least understand the cause of. By opting for silence, I can see all of these things happening much clearer, because I'm biting my tongue and then I'm just forced have my reactions bounce around my head with no place to escape.
Reactivity is finding an outlet for incoming stimuli. The stimulus comes in, an impulse is sent out and the corresponding reaction takes place. It might be in speech, in thought, in emotion, or in a bodily action, such as pushing someone who insults you or swatting a fly that lands on your arm. The whole process takes place in the blink of an eye, and an unkeen observer might not even realize what has taken place, or that there was an opportunity to do otherwise. And that's exactly what freedom is, in this sense, is an opportunity to do something other than the impulsive reaction.
Since we spend most of our lives reacting to life impulsively, without thinking, we spend most of our lives in captivity to our own mental processes. Observing silence in your life might be the perfect way to get a glimpse at this inner world and learn how to intervene, how to voice your opinion in a way that doesn't require you to actually say anything. If you aren't able to go on a silent retreat, you might just try observing a day of silence at home. You probably think that's impossible, because of your daily responsibilities or your family, but is that just your initial reaction? You might find that you need to speak much less than you'd imagined. I'm still able to be a part of this community, doing my chores, having roommates, etc, all without opening my mouth to speak. I can still answer yes or no questions, by nodding, and even indicate where something is by way of pointing. It's all very interesting.
It makes me want to spend a much longer period of time in silence, because what I'm also experiencing, that I haven't yet mentioned, is that some of these reactive thoughts, after finding no outlet of expression, start to disappear. Space opens up and with that comes clarity, insight, and a much more stable connection to the infinite stillness that is within each and every one of us. I'm finding that I'm much more connected to my own body, my thoughts, and my emotions. Not only that, but as you could imagine, I have lots of extra free time because I'm not spending hours chatting about nothing.
If you can't find an entire day to be silent, you might just try to pick a morning or an evening to spend quietly by yourself. If necessary, just share your intentions with your friends and family, turn your cell phone off, and even give yourself some space, so that you might tune-in to the inner workings of your own mind, in order to find freedom from impulsive reactivity to incoming stimuli.
Now in my 5th day of silence, in a community full of people who are talking, this is becoming more and more obvious to me. But don't be mistaken, reactivity doesn't take place at the level of speaking, it happens before that. Just because I'm refraining from speech, doesn't mean I'm not reacting, it just means that I'm given the opportunity to notice my reactivity more as it doesn't have such a clear outlet of expression.
Let's take a moment to look at reactivity. What causes it?
Well, we can react to any form of incoming stimuli. Whether it be a mosquito that lands on us, a sound we hear, something we see, taste, or smell, or an internal stimulus such as a thought or an emotion. Basically, we are talking about the 5 senses and what in Buddhism is the 6th sense, the mind. Incoming stimuli that trigger reactions can come from nowhere outside of these 6 senses.
It's been very interesting to keep silent like this. I've spent many days in silence on various meditation retreats, and while staying at monasteries, but those were in silent environments. Here, in this community, we have a silent day as a group on Saturday, which doesn't even last all day, and then those who are participating in the more rigid "student program" also observe silence on Friday. I've just simply decided to keep it going, and as I said, the results have been very interesting.
With everyone around me talking all the time, I notice my impulse to chime in. I've always been good at chiming in, offering my two cents or whatever. It seems that young generations are now developing this skill more than other skills, they get a quick tongue and don't hold back in the realm of speech. Although it has proven useful at times, it's also gotten me into a lot of trouble. All too often I find that what comes out of my mouth isn't a good representation of who or what I really am. Either way, it's something I'd like to exercise more control over, or at least understand the cause of. By opting for silence, I can see all of these things happening much clearer, because I'm biting my tongue and then I'm just forced have my reactions bounce around my head with no place to escape.
Reactivity is finding an outlet for incoming stimuli. The stimulus comes in, an impulse is sent out and the corresponding reaction takes place. It might be in speech, in thought, in emotion, or in a bodily action, such as pushing someone who insults you or swatting a fly that lands on your arm. The whole process takes place in the blink of an eye, and an unkeen observer might not even realize what has taken place, or that there was an opportunity to do otherwise. And that's exactly what freedom is, in this sense, is an opportunity to do something other than the impulsive reaction.
Since we spend most of our lives reacting to life impulsively, without thinking, we spend most of our lives in captivity to our own mental processes. Observing silence in your life might be the perfect way to get a glimpse at this inner world and learn how to intervene, how to voice your opinion in a way that doesn't require you to actually say anything. If you aren't able to go on a silent retreat, you might just try observing a day of silence at home. You probably think that's impossible, because of your daily responsibilities or your family, but is that just your initial reaction? You might find that you need to speak much less than you'd imagined. I'm still able to be a part of this community, doing my chores, having roommates, etc, all without opening my mouth to speak. I can still answer yes or no questions, by nodding, and even indicate where something is by way of pointing. It's all very interesting.
It makes me want to spend a much longer period of time in silence, because what I'm also experiencing, that I haven't yet mentioned, is that some of these reactive thoughts, after finding no outlet of expression, start to disappear. Space opens up and with that comes clarity, insight, and a much more stable connection to the infinite stillness that is within each and every one of us. I'm finding that I'm much more connected to my own body, my thoughts, and my emotions. Not only that, but as you could imagine, I have lots of extra free time because I'm not spending hours chatting about nothing.
If you can't find an entire day to be silent, you might just try to pick a morning or an evening to spend quietly by yourself. If necessary, just share your intentions with your friends and family, turn your cell phone off, and even give yourself some space, so that you might tune-in to the inner workings of your own mind, in order to find freedom from impulsive reactivity to incoming stimuli.
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