Applying an Antidote

In the last few articles, we've uncovered a path that is suitable for all, which is the practice of identifying personal weaknesses we may have and turning them into strengths. We've developed a set of guiding principles, namely intention, willingness, observation, acceptance, and kindness, to help us connect with our own innate wisdom that already knows what's best for us in any given situation. Of course, this system is only offered if it seems to fit, as ultimately, we know that the universal path can't have a set structure. This structure seems to work for me, but feel free to adjust it to your own liking, or develop something entirely different. 

We already saw that the set I developed is incomplete, because it doesn't directly include things like non-identification and investigation. Another concept or aspect of this personal path to becoming a better person might be the application of an antidote. While on one hand, we practice acceptance, on the other hand, we work towards change. These may seem like contradictory concepts, but we find that in order to bring about change, we need to accept that things could be better. If we deny, we are powerless.

Applying antidotes isn't necessarily just for our weaknesses. I'd say personal weaknesses, in a spiritual sense, are our non-virtuous qualities. It has nothing to do with things like memory, intelligence, or mental or physical functioning. While we may often find that we don't have control over things like intelligence, our spiritual weaknesses are our responsibilities, and we are able to turn them into strengths. In order to do this, we simply have to figure out what needs to be done, and do the work.

Unwholesome states of mind are other good candidates for the application of antidotes. While these unwholesome states of mind can be related to our spiritual weaknesses, usually causally, the mind states themselves can be treated independently, and ideally, we can treat them before they turn into weaknesses. 

For example, anger is an unwholesome state of mind. Problems with anger is a weakness. Anger is perfectly natural and acceptable, and it is very difficult to get to the place where anger doesn't arise. I'll let you know if and when that day comes for me. Until then, the plan is to learn how to deal with it. So in the spirit of acceptance, we come to terms with the idea that anger will arise. We know that blocking anger won't work, it will just make us boil inside until we explode. 

So what can do we when anger arises?

Well, going back to the guiding principles, we can observe, accept, and be kind to ourselves, understanding that it's a totally natural experience. 

Allow yourself to be imperfect. 

We might also find that these steps alone are peacefully-powerful enough to eradicate the unwholesome state of mind, but if the anger is too strong, we might still  feel angry. 

This type of practice will help us determine the difference between feeling angry and being angry. Feelings come and go, and we don't directly have control over them. As it turns out, they are controlled by past conditioning coming in contact with internal or external stimuli. We can become a control-freak, always trying to avoid coming into contact with stimuli that will provoke our past conditioning into unwholesome states of mind, but we know that this too, is a weakness. We don't want to be fragile, always having to be careful about being exposed to changing situations. While we may make wise choices, such as avoiding bars if we have a drinking problem, we also don't want to have to hide from life. In other words, we don't want to let fear running our lives. 

Being angry involves action. We can't always control past conditioning or the incoming stimuli, but we can control the ways we either react or respond to this incoming stimuli. Reactions are generally considered unconscious actions and responses are considered conscious. Since reactions are hard-wired and habitual, it might not be as simple as choosing to respond instead of react. But, there is hope. Slowly, with practice, patience, and persistence, we will find that the tendencies of the mind will be less reactive and more responsive. Another way of looking at it is that the mind reacts, the heart responds. Instead of reacting with anger, impatience, judgment, or negativity, we can respond with love, compassion, understanding, and wisdom.

Now that we understand the relationship between unwholesome states of mind and our spiritual weaknesses, we can start applying antidotes in the spirit of preventative medicine. In other words, if we apply an antidote when anger arises, we can avoid having "problems with anger."

So what is the antidote to anger?

I want first to ask you something. What do you think it is?

I don't want to tell you, not that I know anyway, but I want to point to the innate wisdom within you that already knows.  That's what this all about. It's not about memorizing a system or following what someone else says, it's about listening to our own inner-guidance. In order to listen, we need to find that voice, the voice of the heart, that's impersonal, doesn't belong to us, and always knows what's best for us. So if you're looking for the easy answer, you've come to the wrong place. This must be an inward journey of exploration. It might include experimentation or trial and error. What works for you might not work for another. What works for you one day might not be helpful the next day. 

The mind is too complex to offer concrete solutions. Anger that arises when your waiter messes up your order at a restaurant might require a different antidote than the anger that arises when a bad memory from childhood comes up. Because of this, we need to ask ourselves, "What do I need in this moment? What will enable me to avoid reacting to the anger impulsively and allow me to connect to the wise response of the heart?" 

Also, through investigation, we can potentially determine the root of the unwholesome mind state, in this case anger, and that will help us find the correct antidote. If we think the anger is being caused because of impatience, maybe we just need to practice the age-old antidote to anger and take a few deep breaths. If our anger is caused because we are holding on to a grudge or are resentful, maybe we can apply to antidote of forgiveness. If we are being overly critical, like with the waiter who brought us the wrong dish, maybe we need to apply compassion, and try to understand that maybe he was just busy or is having difficulties at home and can't focus. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

The truth is, I don't know. Only you can know what's best for you. Develop the capacity to listen to your inner-guidance and you don't need me or anyone else telling you what to do. And if you are like me, that's a good thing, because I don't like people telling me what to do. I have found too many people that either don't have my best interests in mind or just don't know what's best for me. As it has turned out, me being stubborn in this way has helped me to learn to trust in my own capacity to listen to my heart. Even if people have good intentions, they don't know what's best for me, they can only guess. Only I can ever know. 

May all beings see the difference between unwholesome states of mind and spiritual weaknesses. 

May all beings learn to respond with love and wisdom instead of react with negativity. 

May all beings learn to trust in their own capacity to listen to the heart, which never lies, and always knows what's best for them.