Dishwashing Meditation

Okay, I admit it, I hate washing dishes as much as the next person, but not always. Sometimes, I have moments that go something like, "This isn't so bad," and others, I actually find myself enjoying it. So what's the difference? What determines whether or not I will hate or enjoy washing the dishes?

For me, it all comes down to mindfulness. If we are lost in our minds, in the stories that we tell ourselves about how we shouldn't have to do this, we will surely suffer. If we are doing the dishes, and we are hating it, we are probably lost in the negativity, in the resistance. We don't want to do it, or we want to put it off until later, but here we are, somehow, at the sink, and we are actually doing it, we are actually washing the dishes.

Let's take a look at this situation for a second to gain some perspective. I thought about this as I was just squatting down on a 6" stool on the "balcony" of my friend's studio apartment here in Bangkok. The balcony is about 4' x 4', with a tile floor and a drain, so that it can be used for washing clothes and dishes. You might think she is living in the ghetto, but this is not the case. Her place is pretty nice actually, even for western standards.  She has a hot shower and air conditioning in a newer building with an elevator and a restaurant on the first floor that delivers hot meals for a buck in a few minutes. If anything, this is above the Thai standard.

If you have a kitchen sink, be grateful!

Maybe it's me, or maybe it's because they have less, but Thai people don't seem to mind doing the dishes, and I think I know why: gratitude. So even if your squatting down on a sweaty balcony in Bangkok, hating life as you wash the dishes, you might find that you have something to be grateful for afterall. Yes, I feel pretty good about making this assumption, because nearly everyone who has the displeasure of washing dishes has something in common.

Why you should be grateful:

1. If you are washing dishes, you probably just ate or at least have food to eat. You don't see starving children in Africa washing random dishes for fun, pretending like they just had a feast. Even if you are doing it as part of your job, that means you are getting money and can use that money to buy food. Plus, if you work in a restaurant, you are probably getting at least a little bit of free food, which is yet another reason to be grateful!

2. If you are washing dishes, you probably have some sort of residence, or are at least afforded the opportunity to stay in one (the latter goes for me right now).

3. If you are washing dishes, you probably have two hands that work, with at least most of your fingers, and enough dexterity to hold a plate.

4. If you are washing dishes, there is pretty good chance you have running water in your house (not necessarily, but I bet most of my readers do).

5. If you are washing dishes, you probably have your vision (not necessarily, I bet most of my readers do).

6. If you are washing dishes, you can look forward to the fact that you'll soon have clean dishes again.

Okay, so it's pretty easy to see why you should be grateful when your washing dishes. Now let's look at ways you can get out of the headspace that whines and complains about this fact of life, or the fact that your roommates are in denial about their personal responsibilities, and into the actual experience of washing.

The point of this is that the actual experience usually isn't as bad as the mental proliferation of it. That is to say, that the mind makes it out to be much worse than it is, especially if not all the dishes are yours and you are doing more than you should be.

Mindfulness of dishwashing:

1. Set the intention to be as mindful as possible (AMAP).

2. Feel your hand floating through time and space as it reaches forward to turn on the water.

3. Grab a dish. Try to notice the interplay between the intention to grab and the experience of grabbing. Are you just blindly grabbing dishes in life, or are you aware of what you're doing, carefully selecting the next dish, and opening and closing your hand with intention. This is a place to become curious.

4. Reach for and grab the sponge or your utensil of choice. Many Thai people I've seen at the monastery seem to think the hand is an appropriate tool, without soap, but let me clarify, use a sponge and lather that sucker up with some nice dish soap for good measure. Feel the texture of the sponge in your hand. Is it rough or smooth? Is it heavy or light? Just notice what it's like to hold a sponge in your hand. Don't forget you are a living, breathing, creature.

5. Begin to wash the dishes. Wash the dishes as if it were the most important thing in the world. You don't need to go fast, or you might miss some of the magic. Wash as if the aliens are watching you, and only you, for 5 minutes to determine the fate of humankind and the world. If you don't convince them through your dishwashing that we are an intelligent, compassionate, and lovable species, they will press a button and blow the entire planet into smithereens.

6. Feel the water on your hands. Is it hot, warm, or cold? If you have warm water, can you find a sense of gratitude for that? Thai people might have hot showers, but not hot water elsewhere in the house, so washing the dishes with warm water on my hands is something that I miss living over here. Don't miss an opportunity to appreciate that nice feeling of having warm water running on your hands as you scrub the dishes.

7. Check in with the mind. Even if you have been mindful, and are impressing the aliens, maybe the mind is still commentating, complaining about having to do this most awful task when you could be doing something much easier like watching TV. If the mind is judging, just notice that it is so. You might do this by noting to yourself silently, "judgment arising." If the mind is aggravated, notice that it is so. Maybe you are thinking about how you want to kill your roommates, planning the exact revenge and then how you will laugh in their face as they take their last breath. If so, maybe you need to see a psychiatrist, but first, just notice that it is so. When the mind continues to run its course of madness under the radar, it drives us crazy. The best thing to do is just to shine the light of awareness on it, and say, "Okay, I hear ya, but I'm not going to play your stupid games!" Be careful not to pick a fight, it just wants attention. If you don't let it get a rise out of you, you are still in control. If you don't realize it's in the back of the class throwing things behind your back (that was me for many years in school), you are not in control (sorry former teachers).

So instead of being lost in the story about how you shouldn't be having to do this, how your roommate or your husband or your children never help out, don't put yourself through the extra grief and just pay attention to the actual experience of holding a dish, feeling the water and the sponge, and being grateful for all that you have, because there are many out there who would kill to be able to say that they had dishes to do, or food to eat, or a place to live, or a family to clean up after, or running water, or hands and eyes, or any of these things that you probably have if you are in fact washing the dishes, or reading this for that matter.

Again, one of the best ways to do this is just by identifying mental activity and thereby finding freedom from its negativity. This is actually the practice of vipassana meditation while washing the dishes, and can also be used at any given point in your waking life, with any task, or in any moment of relaxation. Find that space between that voice of negativity in your head and "you," because you've been working hard, and you owe it to yourself. Afterall, you have been doing the dishes!