Now, I've stayed 2 nights, and am already regretting the fact that I didn't plan to stay for longer. I have found this attitude to be common amongst a certain type of travelers, the type that I like to call "list-checkers." They tend to go to a place, especially the popular destinations, see the sights, check it off the list, and move on. It's not that I am confused about what he meant when he said you can "see" the temples in a day, it's just that I didn't come here to see them, I came for an unforgettable experience.
So what's the difference?
If I came for an unforgettable experience, I got a life- changing one. I could easily stay in this place for another week, or even a month, and I wouldn't get bored. As I was meditating in the dark, cool cavern at the end of the tunnel in the cave monastery yesterday morning, I came to realize this point first-hand. Over the course of the hour I sat in silence, there were several tourist groups that came through, being led by a local tour guide, and as soon as they would enter the cave, I could not only hear them, but I could feel their presence. Here I was, sitting peacefully, and they would sort of bust in, talking loudly and carrying a sort of frantic, list-checking attitude. They probably spend a full day going to as many places as possible, asking a million questions, and catching an ear full of historical facts along the way.
It's not that I disagree with this method of visiting these ancient monuments, in fact, I found myself listening in to one of the guides, as she related the interesting history of a place that I was now meditating in for the second day in a row. I felt that I had already connected with the energies of this place, and could feel its history, so hearing the details of the history had actual meaning for me. It was funny too, because the cavern I was sitting in is sort of the "special spot" at the end of the tunnel, and so the tour guides would save it for last. The entire time the tourists were in there chatting it up, they had no idea that they were visitors, and that there was already someone using the space for its initial purpose.
Their experience would go something like this, "And finally, you will notice this room here, intended for meditation." They would say these words right as they would shine their flashlight into the cavern to reveal something unexpected, and probably a little startling, which was me sitting there quietly in the dark. The light of their flashlights would reflect off the glass-enclosed Buddha shrine in front of me and the glare would beam through my closed eyelids. But at least I knew it was coming, as I could hear them getting closer and closer. As for them, I wouldn't be surprised if their heart skipped a beat or two.
Sometimes I'd hear them make a noise, that little gasping sound you make when you realize you're not alone. And then the tour guide would say something like, "Oh and there you go, there is someone meditating in there now, let's go this way." The tourists seemed to be in families, as I could hear children's voices, often in French or some other European language that I don't understand. The children, having been carrying their normal (loud) voices the entire time, would be stifled by a courteous parent, whispering something to them about how they should be quiet so as to not disturb me. Friendly gesture, I thought, but a little late at this point, as I already heard everything you've blurted out in the past 5 minutes.
Either way, it's a good thing I'm practicing Vipassana, and can use the direct experience of hearing your vocal outbursts as the object of my meditation, attempting to stay with the sensory input of "hearing, hearing, hearing," and not getting wrapped up in the content of what you were saying. I say "attempting," because if the conversation is in English, it's very difficult to not follow the dialog.
When the mind gets caught up in the content of sensory input, be it a sound, a thought, or pain the body, it often follows by chiming in with its two-cents of judgment. For me in this situation of listening to the list-checkers, I found myself both annoyed by the disturbance and at other times interested in the content what was being said.
The practice at this point is not to block the judgment from arising, this just creates tension in the mind, but rather welcome all experience to arise, and then simply acknowledge that it's there. So when judgment is arising, a simple mental noting of "judgment arising" helps to keep the practitioner from being lost in the judgments.
What tends to happen though, is that the mind will circularly judge by not only judging the unknowing visitors, but then itself for being so judgmental. If gone on unnoticed, this can be a vicious cycle, and so by gently reminding yourself that judgment is arising, and acting with compassion toward those who you have judged and yourself, you can give the arisen phenomenon of judgment the space for it to pass away. It's only when we grab onto it that it becomes strong, so if you can be aware that it's at work and let go if it, it will pass. Once it has passed, you can return your attention to the experience of hearing, or any other object of your direct experience, such as breathing, pain, thinking, etc.
Judgment comes in all flavors, not just negative ones, so the practitioner must also keep an eye out for the judgment of praise. "Wow, look at me, I was able to shine the light of awareness on judgment and stop it in its tracks." The mind is still judging here, so if this happens, again, you just note "judgment arising" and continue observing your direct experience.
This is such a tricky area to not get wrapped up in. Just keep noticing your experience by the most basic elements of hearing, judging, or thinking. Continue to return to these experiences gently, and you can get a feel for this interplay between observation and judgment, which can frequently be played off by the mind as being one and the same. They aren't though, one follows the other. Observation happens, and then judgment. Again, you don't need to try too hard to prevent anything from happening.
Nothing is supposed to be happening.
Just do your best and keep it nice and light. When you can't escape the cycle of judgment, just being able to laugh at yourself is a great way to take a step back from everything. You don't have to be doing a "good" job. Just doing your best is enough.
When we take the time and are wiling to observe with honesty, humility, and kindness, there are so many things, in every little moment, that are available to help wake up from being led around unconsciously by the mind and its judgment. When I went into the cave, I went looking for a peaceful place to get away from everything, but life came to me, it always does. My little bubble of peace was bursted by list-checkers and I was granted the wonderful opportunity to be able to deal with a much deeper issue of judgment that I didn't expect to run into.
If we are open and receptive, we find these deep-seated issues are always at work in our lives, below the surface, behind the scenes. It's only when we bump into them, or are willing to see them, that we even know they are there. We can do some important work for ourselves, which will in turn help us treat others more compassionately and lovingly, by being willing to see them and not just waiting for traumatic events to rattle the cage. Judgment is always at work, in response to things little and big, so if we can notice when the experience of judgment arises by simply noting it as such, we are closer to not allowing it to run our lives and being free, in the moment, and at peace with ourselves and our surroundings.
If you take your time while traveling or even in everyday life, really settling in to the subtle details, the moods, and flavors of this experience we have of being alive, you become aware that so much more is happening from moment-to-moment than you would have noticed had you just been charging through.
As for the magical place of Bagan, I believe the purpose for these massive structures to be built in the first place was to really have a profound effect on the observer. Were they built in vain? Were they built for us to take beautiful pictures and then go home?
I certainly hope not. The one who has the opportunity to witness such a vast and magnificent collection of pagodas and monasteries also has the opportunity to be fully moved by them. But to be fully moved by something, a movie, a song, a book, anything, we have to be open and receptive and not stuck in our minds. Think about it, when you are watching a movie that deeply touches your heart, it is like you are really there. You aren't caught up in thinking and judging. That is one reason why we enjoy the experience of watching movies or other forms of entertainment, it allows us a much needed break from the incessant thoughts of our minds. But with the practice of mindfulness, we find that catching a break from the mind is possible in every moment, not just when turn on the TV or open a book.
So in the last two days of biking around, going from one monument to another, I've been trying to balance the internal desire to soak up as much from one place as possible and the realization that there are so many to see. "I wish I had more time," is the thought I keep catching myself repeating.
Sitting in that cave, the pace really became the obvious difference. There I was motionless, inside and out, and they would come barging in, take a few pictures, and out they went, on to the next stop of the tour. Of course, when you decide to take a tour, you don't have much of a choice as to do anything different. The tour would be great too, and if I had a month here, I'd do one too, on the last day. But first, I'd go spend entire days in some of my favorite spots, or even sleep at the foot of a 40' Buddha statue.
If the builders of these great monuments wanted to leave something behind, something that would still be standing over a thousand years later, what were they trying to tell us? Was it merely a display of power and prestige, or is there something more?
To me, this is a wonderful chance to connect with Buddhism. The austerity, the peace within the nobility and great power that comes from the practice of observing the mind. In my journey, I can never see too many Buddha's, and can never bow too many times to that sacred idea that anyone, with the right attitude and courage to go within, can overcome all those little things that make us weak, all those little needs and desires and judgments that perpetuate suffering in our lives. What an image, so profound, so deep, so inspiring.
Walking into one of the biggest temples yesterday, my whole body began to shake. I was nearly brought to tears and could barely walk. If the builders did in fact intend to send a message to those that would come after, I was surely receiving that message, loud and clear.
"Humble yourself, to the great power that one individual has to change the course of history forever, and when you are brought to your knees, shaken to the very core, pick yourself up, and follow in his footsteps."
Luckily, he laid out those footsteps in great detail and clarity, and for the rest of it, well, I guess that's up to us.
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