Monday, February 3, 2014

The Experience of Meditation


The breath comes in, the breath goes out. Baring witness to the stream of life bursting out from within me. A patient game of watching and waiting, seeing everything as impermanent, and nothing as "me". And yet another part of me understands that it's all me--that there's nowhere to draw the line. Thoughts can be heard bouncing off the walls of the cave of my mind, hoping to grab my attention. The impulse to follow arises, but follow I do not. Staying with the direct experience, nowhere to go and no place in particular to rest my attention. Knowing that in this moment, there is no time or space, that the whole field of 'that which is' resides here, and always has.

Bending back the tip of the wings of tomorrow to touch the tail of yesterday, I find a saddle on which to sit in the here and now. Experience comes and goes and yet the watcher remains unmoved. Sensations pour in, looking for a reaction. Another breath. Such a sway of the pendulum, between the seemingly opposite worlds of pleasant and unpleasant, but I've seen this show before, I already know how it ends. It's just a game of back and forth, nothing to get excited about, and yet beauty seems to pervade both ends of the spectrum. How can we hold such a dichotomy of truths?

Coming back to the breath, there is no need for an answer. I fall deeper into the moment, only to get pulled out again. If only there were more concentration, more focus. But then I realize, there's nothing wrong with this moment, with where I'm at, with how it's going. Nothing to be, nothing to judge, just a gentle curiosity and the willingness to accept and let go of whatever arises to be met with the loving awareness of 'the one who knows'. With such a complete picture, I'll just stay out of this one...

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