Thursday, February 21, 2013

When Destiny Unfolds


Okay, I don't necessarily believe in destiny, which seems to denote that we are without the freedom to choose, but I do make room in my view for the idea that things happen for a reason. Although I can't quite explain it, sometimes, things just seem to work out in a way that feels like it was what was "meant to happen." Another way of putting this might be that when both the choices that we make and the things we stumble upon end up being in accordance with what could be said to be what we needed at a particular time in our life. Whether it is coincidence, tuning into our higher purpose, or some sort of synchronicity, is something I am unable to say, but when it happens, I like to open up to the seeming magic and mystery that it has to offer.

Here is a quick backstory of my most recent of such unfoldings. Last year, as I was preparing to return to Thailand (which was a fairly spontaneous decision), I was at the chiropractor's office in Durango, Colorado, waiting to get adjusted and looking through some of the books in his waiting-room-library. In particular, I had a strong interest in visiting Burma and was looking at the Lonely Planet travel guide when my doctor, Ted Zerrer, came in and told me about his own trip there. He mentioned that his friends did non-profit work in rural villages over there and that I should get in touch with them and maybe I could get involved. He wrote down the name of the website and I later contacted Mike Karpfen, the Executive Director of the Shanta Foundation.

Mike's plans were uncertain and so were my own, but nevertheless we stayed in touch and 6 months later I found myself in one of these rural villages shooting a video for Shanta Foundation. Over the course of my stay in the village, I got to know Mike and his wife, Tricia, a little bit. When Tricia learned of my interest in meditation, she recounted a few of her own stories, of becoming a nun in southern Thailand in the early 70's, and some of the difficulties that she faced. I didn't remember all the details of what she had said, but I remembered the name of the province she was in, Nakorn Si Thammarat, and that there was an English monk there who was secretly doing yoga in his kuti (dwelling hut) in order to keep the body limber for long hours of meditation. She asked me if I knew who the guy was, who apparently was quite renowned in the world of western Buddhism, but I had never heard of him, and I didn't really ever think about it again, until last week.

I came here to Bodhgaya, India, for a 10-day insight meditation retreat at the Royal Thai Monastery, and on the first day, when the teacher was talking, something clicked. Yes, the guy was English, yes, I knew he had been a monk in Thailand, but so have many others. I didn't know when or where, and I never thought anything of it. During his introductory talk, in addition to encouraging us to attend the morning meditation that was included in the daily schedule, he also spoke briefly about being a monk in Nakorn Si Thammarat in the early 70's. Like being hit with a miniature lightning bolt, I suddenly got goose bumps and that feeling, the one where you realize that you are exactly where you need to be, and that whether it was your choices, luck, or the divine plan that got you there, you are there, and that is enough.

I knew right away that this man in front of me, Christopher Titmuss, who would be leading my meditation retreat for the next 10 days, was indeed the man who Tricia Karpfen told stories of just a few short months prior while we were in Burma. What are the chances of that? Given the fact that Christopher was the only foreign monk there, and in the first wave of western monks in Asia, the chances are pretty slim. Of course, I needed to confirm, and was later able to do so during a 1-on-1 interview with Christopher, whose face lit up upon hearing of the "coincidence." I don't think they had any contact in the past 40+ years, but he definitely remembered her fondly and said she was even in one of the group photos he had on his wall back home in England. He asked me to send her his regards and now I have the pleasure of reconnecting long lost dhamma friends.

So let's look back on these events that led to this. First, I made a really difficult decision to come back to Asia. Then, I finally decided to address my back problems and went to see Ted, who came highly recommended by all my meditation and yoga friends in Durango. Then, I just happened to pick up that Burma travel book and Ted just happened to recommend that I contact Mike and Tricia. Mike and Tricia happened to overcome obstacles with the Burmese government and were able to make their annual trip. Although they had a full schedule and were extremely busy, they happened to agree to have me come shoot a video for them at which time Tricia happened to tell me stories of being a nun in Thailand. I didn't remember Christopher's name, but I happened to remember just enough details about him (England, yoga, Nakorn Si Thammarat) that would later lead me to believe that I had a match. Even with those pieces of information, I could have easily missed the connection. Of all the places to go and things to do in India, I happened to stumble across Christopher's annual retreat in Bodhgaya, and the dates worked out perfectly. Even though I faced many difficulties on the train to get here, and almost didn't make it, I did, and even without the coincidence, I would have felt that I definitely came to the right place, as the entire retreat was amazing and was indeed, from what I can tell, "exactly what I needed."

Wow, so many things had to happen in order for this to manifest in the way that it did. There are over 1 billion people in India, and I happened to meet the particular Englishman who Tricia had told me about. And no, she didn't mention him because she knew about his annual retreats in India as a way of suggesting that I attend. She knew nothing of the sort, it was purely the unfolding of my life according to something, and exactly what that something is remains to be unknown, but it isn't always necessary to answer every question, as long as we open up to the mystery and the magic of life and everything it has in store for us.

Sometimes we have to look at our lives in this way, using wise contemplative reflection, to really understand the importance of what has taken place. Too often we take these coincidences for granted, whether large or small, and don't pay any attention to them. But if we look at them, we can begin to understand how the choices we make effect our lives, and that when we follow our hearts, our dreams come true. If I would have decided differently on any number of things, to go to Thailand or not, to go to Burma or not, to go to India or not, to go to Bodhgaya or to take the invitation to travel in the south with friends I had made earlier in my trip, I wouldn't be here, now, and I doubt I would have this feeling that I was right where I needed to be. The teachings I heard from Christopher were both inspiring and relevant to what I am going through at this stage in my life, and I wouldn't have rather been anywhere else during that 10-day period.

The invitation here is to really see that we are constantly shaping our futures, and that a simple decision, like what chiropractor to go to, or what book to read in the waiting room, might change your life! Isn't that exciting?


To learn more about Christopher Titmuss and upcoming retreats and programs, and to download various talks given by him, visit:

www.christophertitmuss.org

www.insightmeditation.org

www.bodhgayaretreats.org

To learn more about the great work that Mike and Tricia are doing in Burma, visit:

www.shantafoundation.org

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